Saturday, September 16, 2006

Funny break

I know this isn't EMS-related but I saw this posted on a nursing forum and I wanted to share it with everybody. We could all use a laugh these days, I think.

These are actual entries in hospital charts that were posted publically to remind people to pay attention to what they are writing. Fitz, are any of these yours??? ;-)

1) The patient refused an autopsy.
2) The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for ove a year.
6) On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9) Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10) Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12) She is numb from her toes down.
13) While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14) The skin was moist and dry.
15) Occasional, constant infrequent headaches
16) Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17) Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18) She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19) I saw your patient today, who is still under my car for physical therapy.
20) Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21) Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22) The lab test indicated abnormal lover funtion.
23) Skin: somewhat pale but present
24) The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
25) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

4 comments:

T-MAN said...

Now those were funny, and no I don't believe Sean would make any of those errors.Now I on the other hand can easily butcher simple words. But as usual maam very nice indeed, very nice!!

i'msofain said...

Personally, #17 and #21 are my favorites!

Sean said...

These ARE some of mine:
Pt has no new complaint, other than she can't sleep in this noisy ER.
Pt states he has no pulse.
States she hit her head on the bullseye.
Complaining of head pain after being hit with a fish.

lexi said...

What about the famous, "Pt states she is in a coma"